Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Tornado of negativity

By Meg Walter

It appears that what Bachelor Sean lacks in personality, he makes up for in muscles. We know this because we saw Sean shirtless in the shower. Of course we did. This is The Bachelor.

On  the  first one on one date, Sarah and Sean went to an art house screening of a documentary, then discussed the merits of Dostoyevsky's earlier works. Just kidding.  They rode in a helicopter and jumped off a building and talked about relationships. Real original.

The group date was a test of tempers as the girls sat and watched each other pose for photos with Sean.The winning photo will be featured on the cover of romance  novels. Amazingly, no one no one found this prospect horrifying or humiliating. The professional  model won to no one's surprise, and  Tierra tried her best to kill off the other  ladies with intense glaring.

Desiree was subjected to a really terrible evening wherein Sean and Chris Harrison sat and  giggled as poor Des was pranked. Sean then invited her to his place to hang out. They must have blown the budget on Sarah's helicopter ride and building jumping.

When one of his potential  wives asked Sean if he was attracted to black women, and his answer sounded a lot like the lyrics of War's  "Spill the Wine". He likes long ones tall  ones short ones brown ones crazy ones. Sean likes all the ladies. But then he sent  home one of the black ladies.

Sean did some kissing and suddenly the world realized why he asked Ari  how to properly kiss a woman. Homeboy struggles.

He also sent home the Salt Lake City girl and another one who I'd never seen before left on her own, probably because she realized she was on The Bachelor.

1 comment:

  1. I was worried last season that Emily was going to lose a facial feature to his clusterkissing. Or drown. Or both.