Monday, January 7, 2013

If only it had been Dorota!

By Jen Gulbrandsen

My love for Gossip Girl was found late. January 2011, in fact. It began as a strange desire to finally watch this show that all of these people seemed to love, and I found a way to download all of the episodes, and I watched them right in a row. And I loved it. It was childish and awful and silly and yet so insanely addicting. I couldn’t help it. The clothing. The hair. The headbands. The accessories. The boys. The clothing! And the salaciousness, of course. I loved all of it.
That love has kept me watching through the less interesting and more ridiculous moments of the show. Like Ivy. Or Nate’s child girlfriend. Or Bart’s resurrection. There’s also the entire royal wedding travesty. Seasons 5 and 6 in general. But in the end, it always comes back to the fact that no matter how ridiculous it is, I still want to be a part of it. So when we discover that Gossip Girl is actually none other than Dirty Dan Humphrey, I’m not really all that surprised. Mostly because it was the largest theory floating around for the last two years, but a little bit because even if I hate him, I identify with him. As writers we observe everything in our surroundings, and we long to write all about it. There are so many things I wish I could say about what I see, but because I’m not an anonymous voice, I can’t.
As much as I hate Dan Humphrey’s chest hair and his lack of general grooming, I appreciate the entire concept of it all.
There are some fun moments in the episode, most notably Uncle Jack’s leaving his other life as dirty cop from Miami to team up with Georgina. This is me putting in the bid for the show about their scheming and dealing.
So where do we end up? Chuck and Blair marry in blue accents near the Met and in the ‘five years later’ portion of the finale, we see that they have a little boy named Henry who is pretty darn adorable. Dan enabled Nate to have a hugely successful media empire, or at least that’s what I gather by his corporate jet and hinted bid for Mayor of New York City. He seems to be alone, which is where I insert my sincere desire and hope that he and Jenny end up together in the end. You wouldn’t guess it, but I love them together even more than Chair. Everyone has gathered for Dan and Serena’s wedding (really? It took ANOTHER five years???); Rufus with that one Lisa Loeb or Leob or Loebe singer, Lily with Papa van der Woodsen, and Eric and Jenny. Don’t worry, her eyeliner is still in full force.
This is awfully sappy. My apologies. It’s the end of an era. I may not be bawling through the entire final episode like I did with Gilmore Girls, but I still am sad to see all the glorious fashion and drama go.
It’s actually a decent ending for a really terrible season, and a comfortable ending for a marginally enticing series. It may not be the magic that the first few seasons were, but we all love that world, and we all hate to admit that we want to be in that world, and therefore we will continue to go back and watch old episodes in the hopes that maybe we find ourselves fitting right in, too.

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