Tuesday, January 8, 2013

50 Shades of Drunk

"I wish I was more sober right  now," says the women in the wedding dress, trying desperately to get Bachelor Sean to kiss her. No doubt many bachelor contestants have said the same thing later while watching their season  at home on a couch, but to actually recognize in the moment that you are plastered and making a complete fool of yourself on national television, well that's some serious self awareness.  Maybe that's why Sean kept her around for another week. Or maybe it's because she wasn't actually the craziest lady of the night. Nor was the woman  who pulled tissue from her cleavage.

No, the nuttiest award goes to the 50 Shades of Grey obsessed blond carrying around a neck tie. It's a shame we won't be seeing more of her because she's exactly the kind of train wreck we all hope to get from Reality Television. Other rejects from last night include the Tennesseean who obviously hoped to launch her career in country music with a much too long musical  introduction, a bunch of girls who had zero camera time, and an old Bachelor Pad contestant tiredly trying to run the hamster wheel of  Bachelor fame before fading into oblivion. She was not as successful as Kacie from Ben's season who progressed to next week, or Ari  who showed up for a visit whihout any really reason except maybe to remind America that he would be a far  more interesting Bachelor.

Overall it's a same song  different verse scenario.  A boring, vaguely southern, muscular tweny-something courting a group of very pretty, very desperate women, including a few sweethearts,  a few masters of manipulation and at least one girl who says "I'm not here to make friends." The only difference is that this time not all the women are white. Maybe there was a discrimination law suit. Also, Sean seems to be trying this darndest to stir things up by handing out roses, willy nilly, as though the Rose Ceremony doesn't even matter. It's a real  problem for those viewers who only pay attention to the last ten minutes, so, you know, all of  us.

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