Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Guy's got no game

By Meg Walter

Let us all praise modern DVR technology and the ability we have to fast-forward television.  Last night it spared all of America from having to cringe through three minutes and sixteen seconds  of the world's worst on-screen kiss.  The world record they were trying to set was for longest, but in my book it goes down as most vomit-inducing. Come on,  Sean. Did you not think to practice your macking skills before spending months kissing a lot of women for all the world to see? Here's hoping his form improves over the coming weeks or we all have a lot of fast forwarding in our futures. It's amazing Leslie stuck around for the rest of the date and even kissed him again. Girl is in it to win it.

Despite his lip fumbles, Sean earned some respect when he told Kacie, who clumsily stirred the pot by tattling on Des(z?) and Amanda, that she was acting like  a total nutjob. It's commendable that Sean saw through her fake concern and called her on it,  leaving her essentially speechless and mortified. It's a lesson I'm surprised these girls haven't learned yet,  especially if they've ever watched the show. Fight all you want in the house, keep those ratings  high, but never waste one-on-one time with the bachelor hissing about other women. It never works in  your favor. It's no surprise, then,   that Kacie was told to pack her bags. Next stop: Bachelor Pad.

Tierra "fell down the stairs" and "sustained a head injury". She acted like  a stroke victim until the paramedics arrived and she hopped up and scampered away. Sean found her, said some comforting words and rubbed her thigh. Remember when Michelle Money faked a black eye? This show is  the best.

AshLee and Sean spent a day at Six Flags with two chronically ill girls, which was nice but not particularly interesting to watch. Come to think of it, any time Sean is on screen is never particularly interesting. It was a bit shocking to see some human emotion from him after AshLee told an incredibly painful story about her past as an abused foster child. He cried. It was kind of sweet. This is not a funny paragraph.

In addition to Kacie, we said good bye to a blond girl I had never seen before and the professional model.  Hey, we can't all  be so lucky as Courney who rode her model title to a win.

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