Wednesday, February 20, 2013

A brother's sabotage and Sean tells us nothing at all

By Meg Walter

Does ABC not have shows to broadcast on Tuesday nights? Why do they keep making the Bachelor a two night event? Do they not understand that there's a threshold for Bachelor tolerance and it may not, under any circumstance, exceed two hours a week? Any more and the brain begins a slow, painful self destruction,the result of which we're all dealing with today after this week's 3 hour extravaganza. Too much Bachelor.

It started Monday with the hometown visits. I have no idea what happened with AshLee's family because I was lulled to sleep by her personality. Lindsay acted like a sixteen year old with a scary military daddy and a really giggly mom. She even giggled when Lindsay revealed she spent the first night in a wedding dress. "I love it!"  her mother squawked,  though her reaction may have changed had Lindsay added "I was also plastered and tried shamelessly to put my lips on his lips."

Things started getting interesting with Catherine's family and then down right juicy with Des's. Catherine's sisters sat her down and essentially said, "You know you're on a reality show, right?" and when Sean asked for her mother's blessing he got a "Let's just see what happens." These woman are incredibly realistic about the situation, which in Bachelor World translates into cynical non-believers. Luckily for Catherine, Des has a family of actual cynical, non-believers. If there's one Bachelor taboo, it's accurately describing The  Bachelor. So when Des's brother says, "you're dating multiple women at one  time" and asks "how can you be in love with four people?" he seals his sister's fate as the next girl to cry in a limo.

And so as Sean stares at the head shots in  the decision making room, he thinks about spending  Thanksgiving  with The Man Who Doubts, and he has no choice but to send Des home. She doesn't go without a fight, and begs Sean to change his mind. He looks like he might, but instead gives a long, sad hug, tells her he might regret his decision in  the morning, and sends her home where she will surely never speak to her brother again.  There's an  incredibly terrible moment when Des says, "I just don't even know what to do with my life now," suggesting that winning The Bachelor was her plan, suggesting that she's not the grounded, reasonable girl I previously believed her to be.

Exhausted yet? Yeah, there's still more.

Last night Sean sat down with Chris Harrison for a tell all, all meaning absolutely nothing new. He even went so far as to say "It's none of your business" when asked about the Fantasy Suites. The Bachelor who has spent the last six weeks having multiple relationships on national television, claims a right to  privacy. Then spends the last sixty seconds of the show in a shower.

1 comment:

  1. I think they were trying to make you swoon for the shower part...I literally laughed out loud. Sad, how the most interesting thing about him is his body... I think he'll end up with ashlee because (like you accurately described her) they are just boring enough for each other.