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Advanced Community Management

By Erin Jackson

The third season of Community, to borrow from the excellent episode "Remedial Chaos Theory" explored what has been "the darkest timeline yet." And every week it seemed life imitated art. There was the Chevy Chase incident, the mid-season split, creator and showrunner Dan Harmon's public post-breakup breakdown and, ultimately, his firing that added fuel to the constant cancellation rumors. And on the show there was Pierce's dad's death, the war between Troy and Abed, the murder of a yam, Glee club.... it was ugly.

I am a fan of Dan Harmon. He has an uncanny ability to pry out emotions from us, one reference or parody at a time.

But, Devil's advocate time: Dan Harmon is kinda hard to work with. He has the social skills of Abed with the sardonic self-interest of Jeff Winger. Not someone I'd particularly say was suited for leadership. In an interview with G4, Harmon stated that he was "farting around" creatively once he could see NBC becoming cancellation-happy. Which is far from charming for the higher-ups who seemed earnest in trying to bring in more viewers.

It's kind of hard for me, however, to take a network seriously after they say this: “Shows like Whitney and Up All Night were steps in the right direction and that’s why they’re back.” That was NBC entertainment chairman Robert Greenblatt defending the switch up. Ew. Especially since NBC's retooling of Up All Night seems misguided and an affront to what made it refreshing and worth renewing. And Harmon's been, well, Harmon, for years and has been turning out one of the best loved TV shows in recent memory. When cancellation rumors became more and more frequent and foreboding, fans donned goatees, twittered and flashmobbed outside NBC. And the fans loyalty is due in large part because of the core message of the show, which Harmon has said to be "People are Good and Systems are Bad. To elaborate, that Even Bad People Can be turned Good by People Whereas Nobody's Ever Been Turned Anything but Bad by a System." Harmon may not have set out to make TV studios into villains, but, when the fans who were so drawn to this message, this idea that someone made something that made me feel like an okay person even though I'm a weirdo, and now something is trying to take away this thing. And it got ugly. Because, despite this idea of the innate goodness of people, Harmon often states that he is a broken, crappy person and as such did not see fit to just gloss over all this crappiness and messiness.

If I may put on my Britta glasses and play Psych major here, many of the season's episodes mirrored what was going on behind the scenes. In "Virtual Systems Analysis" Annie re-configures Abed's Dreamatorium engine so that he considers other people before himself. In this new configuration, which bears a striking resemblance to Grey's Anatomy, Abed has been filtered out. This is Abed's idea of what others would like, but Annie is disturbed and wants things to be like they were before. There have been other episodes that dealt with the Dreamatorium and how it brings out the worst in Abed, to the extent that in the final episode he disassembled it, reconstructing it in a refrigerator box. There's only room for himself. This is neither a victory nor a defeat. So it's interesting that Dan Harmon said that scene represented his departure from the show. "I didn't know for sure I was going to [leave]," he went on "but I had a feeling I might have to." In this same AMA, he said of his firing "...I feel good bad. I feel terrible awesome. I feel proud ashamed. I feel engorged on my own starvation, I feel like the biggest con artist and sucker in the history of monsters and heroes."

The final episode was heartwarming and heartbreaking, the kind of episode I imagine Harmon would have felt comfortable calling a series finale. And, it could well be that it is its spiritual finale. I, like Harmon, sure hope that it isn't:

Don't underestimate the power of those actors playing those characters, and as I've said, we've got a lot of great writers over there. I think they were incredibly stupid to let me go but that's not the same as saying the show can't be good without me. Fingers crossed, goatees in the drawer, gun barrels out of mouths. Maybe it's the timeline where everybody wins. Regardless, don't weep for me. All that money they're going to make...a big pile of it is mine.

This third season is probably my favorite, and as Dan Harmon said "TV in all its ugliness can be a beautiful thing." I gave my TV a standing ovation after "Basic Lupine Urology" (aka the Law and Order episode) and giggled non-stop during the Ken Burns style episode. Despite all the things working against it, Community managed to be true not only to itself- its style, its humor, its character development, but also to life. It seemed that, like Abed stated in "Documentary Filmmaking: Redux", Dan Harmon's philosophy was thus: 

Will your story be yet another sad one of yet another man who just wanted to be happy or will your story acknowledge the very nature of stories and that sharing the sad ones can sometimes make them happy?

Community will continue to explore the latter in its broken, ugly, transcendental way, for three more seasons and a movie. (If not, my whole brain will be crying and I will need recs of long running British TV series—stat).

Erin Floyd Jackson has been BFFs with TV since she was a wee one when she would play TV Network Executive. She went to school to learn about how and why TV is the way it is and hopes to someday tear someone's creative vision down and re-edit it to her liking. In the meantime, she and her husband live in Huntsville, Alabama and they occasionally "blog" here (http://inappropriateapplause.tumblr.com/) when they are not geeking out over all the SCIENCE! in the Rocket City.

But what about Kendall?

By Jen Gulbrandsen

Dance Moms is my crack.  It gives me the opportunity to sit in my bed and double fist gummy bears and cheetos while watching all of the shenanigans go down.  But sometimes when I’m eating all of that food, I feel such sadness for these poor little girls.

Who is looking out for them?  Don’t you sometimes feel like someone needs to call child protective services on these people?  Did Abby Lee ever actually dance… ever?

So far this season we’ve seen injuries (Paige and Brooke), studio hopping (Jill, and then Jill, and then Jill again), and multiple opportunities for the moms to have all out brawls.  The fights are getting worse, and as pathetic and terrible as it sounds, they’re becoming even more entertaining.  But again, we go back to these poor little girls.  The thing that’s the most disturbing is how much the Maddie Favoritism aspect is played up.  My guess is it’s the producers egging it on, but it’s unfortunate how these teammates are put into such uncomfortable positions 

Tonight we have a solo from Chloe, a bizarre group number, and an acrobatic duo from Mackenzie and…dun dun dun… Kendall.  It’s not until Abby hears that Cathy and the Candy Apples will be at the competition that she tries to get Maddie to do a solo, but Melissa finally recognizes that her child is Abby’s favorite, and she doesn’t want to give her fellow moms more chances to point it out (although let’s face it – Melissa’s story is the juiciest, and I’d give anything to see it more fully), so no solo time for Maddie.

Chloe dances to something that I’m fairly certain isn’t the real music (they can only buy so many music rights, correct?), and she uses a lantern that makes very little sense, and she does a few fouettes, and she remains my favorite.  They pit her against that little ginger boy who does a lot of acrobatic work and tilts, and who could probably benefit from ballet technique classes.

My reaction to the group number: WHY ARE THEY WEARING BONNETS?! 

Poor Chloe takes second by a tenth of a point to ginger – but honey, this is going to be life.  Boys are always placed higher in dance (and yes, this is one of the only times I’ll agree with Abby).

The bonnets win first place, Candy Apples take third, and Abby is ticked that Chloe got beat.  And again I am afraid for the little ones.  The Apple boys take second to the Abby girls, there’s a massive fight, and we can only hope that someone tells these moms that they aren’t wearing the right dress sizes.

Jen emphasized in English at Brigham Young University. She currently freelances as a ghost writer and works as a personal stylist to feed her addiction to all things pretty. Her TV preferences range from The Vampire Diaries to Arrested Development and she lives in a fantasy world where Stars Hollow still exists. See more at jengulbrandsen.blogspot.com.

How many more weeks?

This week I learned that Bachelor Pad is way more fun to watch on mute. Instead of having to worry about the idiotic things that the contestants say and do, I could really focus on the idiotic things that they where. Like Tony's black leather vest over his fuscia blouse.

Why?

Sarah took scissors to a wedding gown and made this:

Say no to the dress.

Nick subtley let us know he works out.

Jersey Shore called, they don't want you.

And during the Rose Ceremony, while everyone else was dressed for the prom, Nick wore his dad's shirt and some JNCO jeans.

Gelled curls a la Justin.

Kalon wore lip gloss and shined his forehead



Of course he did.

But the week's biggest fashion disaster was poor Jaclyn.

A centimeter shorter and that skirt would get her arrested.

She solved the "My maxi skirt isn't showing enough skin" problem,

Brilliant.

Then momentarily transformed into a zombie.

A cleavagey zombie.

And then she wore a pop can divider to the Rose Ceremony.

Maybe she's trying to save the sea turtles.

This week I also learned that the Bachelor Pad cinematography wishes he worked for National Geographic. In this single episode there were three cut away shots of birds

I bet he wishes he could fly away.

Be free like this majestic creature.

Or peck the contestants to death.

and a close up of a rose.

Symbolism.

Chopped

By Jaclyn Hutchins

Television in the summer often feels like that apple your mom would tell you to have if you were hungry before dinner. It’s not that you don’t like apples, but they are not a real meal. Summer television usually satiates nothing and always leaves me hungrier for the fall lineup or a movie that doesn’t involve an impossibly fit man running away from an even more impossible explosion. I say usually about summer television because I’m pretty sure the Gods invented the Food Network to keep me entertained year round. I can’t claim to be a food aficionado, but I am obsessed with Food Network's Chopped. The beautiful thing about the show is that it plays multiple times a week, so my DVR saves these tidbits to tide me over until Grey’s Anatomy returns. So if you’re hungry for a little bit more than what your current television shows are offering, here’s why you should tune in:

Four chefs battling through three rounds (appetizer, dinner, dessert) making fantastically complex and beautiful dishes in a matter of minutes

Three judges, who are accomplished chefs and restaurateurs, mastering the subtle insult alongside a hard won compliment

Mystery basket ingredients - each round includes four ingredients that the chefs must use and highlight. Who knew cotton candy could do such amazing things or that people eat lamb testicles and call them lamb fries (slightly awkward, but borderline hilarious to watch them described as rare delicacies)

I can’t say Chopped will replace your beloved show (or shows) of choice, but you’ll a little bit less hungry and ironically, a little bit more excited to make your dinner tonight.
Jaclyn Hutchins lives in the San Francisco Bay Area and teaches high school English. She is asked if her teacher knows where she is least once a month despite being perilously close to 30. Jaclyn’s latest rule for herself is that she cannot watch TV until she has completed her run for the day. She runs her first half-marathon in October.

Spacing

By: Allyson Hamacher

Let’s get started with a very important question.
Do you like?:
a) Simon Pegg
b) Shaun of the Dead or Hot Fuzz
c) Arrested Development
d) All of the above
If you aren’t sure what those are, or think you don’t like them, educate yourself. If you’ve done your research and still don’t enjoy any of the above, skip Spaced and stop reading this now.

Those of you who are still with me have excellent taste – congratulations! I can’t even begin to tell you what exciting things are in store for you when you watch Spaced. Think: Shaun of the Dead + Arrested Development + movie tributes + real characters + nerdy humor + British humor. Bake for two seasons, and enjoy.

The two main characters, Tim Bisely (graphic artist who works in a comic shop) and Daisy Steiner (writer who works nowhere), are twenty-something underachievers – but totally not in an annoying way. The two, who meet at a coffee shop. Coincidentally, both are looking for new living accommodations and pose as a couple to rent a flat whose landlord specifies, “professional couples only.”

Their neighbor, Brian Topp, is an artist who paints “anger, frustration, rage, fear” and is also a very nice guy. He’s the subject of not-so-subtle advances from their landlady, Marsha Klein, who has either a cigarette or drink in at least one hand at all times; in one episode she has a cigarette and glass of wine in both hands. Mike Klein is what John Goodman’s character from the Big Lebowski would be he were incredibly friendly.

There is a smattering of other characters, tributes to RoboCop, Star Wars, One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, The Sixth Sense, and likely more that I missed. Watch the first episode for the background, but wait for the second episode for it to get good. I’m on my second time around with the series, and I’m already finding new things to laugh at.

Allyson Hamacher lives in Phoenix, AZ with her husband, Jon, her dog, and multiple projects in varying states of doneness. She is starting a Masters of Science program at Arizona State University, and looks unsettlingly smug in her student ID picture. She and Jon strongly disagree about whether the word "filthy" means "dirty" or "extra dirty."

It's time to shake things up here on Bachelor Pad

Blakely worked at Hooters for thirteen years, so naturally, she won the teacup stacking challenge. I feel like after working at Hooters for thirteen years, one deserves to win a Bachelor Pad challenge. Sarah would have won if she hadn't broken the rules and touched her stack of teacups (literally, that's not a euphemism). Of her heartbreaking disqualification from a Bachelor Pad challenge Sarah said, "Now I know how Olympic swimmers feel." I'm no Michael Phelps, but if I were, I imagine  reflecting on my years of training, the blood sweat and tears put in the pool, and the heartache of losing at an Olympic level, then hearing Sarah's comment, and yelling at the television "NO YOU MOST CERTAINLY DO NOT."
Other stuff happened but it was boring.

So You Think You Can Dance What Twitch Danced

By: Jen Gulbrandsen

This is the first season of So You Think You Can Dance I’ve watched in years.  We have some t fun characters, and their larger than life personalities are needed since  the show’s new format leaves little time for getting acquainted with the dancers. The first few episodes felt disjointed due to the new format.  Gone is the results show, and now contestants are kicked off at the end of each show from the previous week’s voting cycle.  Confusing enough?

Tonight, however, I care not who will be leaving in the end.  Rather I am left to wonder what the hell Cat Deeley is wearing. 

The choreography for each number tonight is solely Mia Michaels’ pieces from previous seasons, which will almost certainly be a trainwreck(is this the beginning of the end?).Regurgitating a former Mia routine is completely misguided because each couple is inevitably compared to past performers for whom the routines were originally created.  They have little chance of success tonight, and most falter.  Cyrus and Eliana are awkward..  Even worse are Ryan Gosling and Audrey with the most boring Mia Michaels routine ever.  Unfortunately it’s also the one Mia says is about her deceased father, so I feel like a bad person for disliking it. Both times I saw it performed, I held my breath in fear that the dancers would slip on the ridiculous flowers. I also had absolutely no emotional response..

Chehon, aka the SuperHuman, and BB1 (Ballroom Blondie) perform the infamous bench routine and it’s decent.  I would like keep Chehon in my house and make him dance for me  on demand?  He is a god.  BB1 is cute and sweet, but the Ballet Boys, this week’s guest judges, recognize and award the masterfulness of Chehon.  The strongest performers of the night are Cole the Martial Artist (who is obviously trained in ballet) and BB2 who perform a routine about addiction.  I legitimately feel something, mostly due to Cole’s inanimate and eery facial expressions and movement.  It was perfectly and subtly frightening. 

Six dancers  are in danger of leaving and they’re all performing for us.  Amelia does some hand reaching, Janelle shakes her bum, and Lindsay SLAYS the samba.  George mesmerizes me, Dareian proves that he’s the male trickster, constantly adding tricks to his routines to make up for his lack of technical skill,  and Ryan Gosling’s routine is the resounding evidence that proves the boys are SO MUCH BETTER than the girls this season.  I still don’t know what Cat is wearing.

Lindsay is saved, which I’m totally down with.  My cousin Jill was looked over for Amelia, which I think was such a mistake (in my completely biased opinion).  I for one am not going to miss Amelia’s quirkiness, which I find to be a crutch.  Seeing these boys cry sort of kills me, but George is definitely the superior dancer of the three, and it’s time for Cyrus to leave. 

Jen emphasized in English at Brigham Young University. She currently freelances as a ghost writer and works as a personal stylist to feed her addiction to all things pretty. Her TV preferences range from The Vampire Diaries to Arrested Development and she lives in a fantasy world where Stars Hollow still exists. See more at jengulbrandsen.blogspot.com.

It's Not UFOs, it's Me

By: Erin Jackson

Dear Falling Skies,

Well, it's come to this. Your season is nearly over (I think?) and there are four unseen episodes of you on my DVR. And, I kinda need that space for shows that I, you know, like to watch.

How'd we get to this place? Things seemed to be picking up. The survivors were all getting ready to move South for the Winter and we all know modern survivalist fiction is way better in the the South. And Noah Wyle finally got his kids back and was romancing that doctor and yeah there were still aliens trying to kill everyone, but then there was that one alien who was special somehow and wanted to start a revolution and I was pumped.

Then, Ben's ex-girlfriend shows up and puts a wrench in your momentum and I'm just not into you anymore, FS.

Why? Because you are exhausting. I know that because of our apocalyptic paranoia driven by bleak economic climate and a distrust of government or fear of environmental catastrophe we Americans are in love with this kind of story. We flipped out over Hunger Games and went gaga for zombies and it makes sense to bring back good ol’ alien invasion in a Walking Dead style TV drama.

But, I personally can't deal anymore. I read The Road. I play Fallout. So I have no dearth of post-apocalyptic America in non televised formats. I watched LOST and Battlestar Gallactica, which had this effect on me:

despite the constant peril and shuffling of survivors. I watch the aforementioned Walking Dead which is more of the same. And I watch the news featuring story after story of people struggling to rebuild governments and stabilize society or just trying not to be killed for no reason.

All that I can handle. Then you you show up with your constant scouting trips and illnesses and rescues and it feels like work. When you present all these struggles without the payoff of a story that draws me in every week, I get bummed out. It all adds up, this post-apocalyptic malaise, like a sludge of dread on my brain. It's grating and sludgy and I need a break.

Will I be back? That depends. Maybe if you jettison more of your cast (a la LOST) or focus in more on the inner conflict of the aliens (a la Battlestar) or anything else that shakes things up in a dynamic way, I can't see why I won't. But for now, you're off my DVR.

Best wishes,

Erin

Erin Floyd Jackson has been BFFs with TV since she was a wee one when she would play TV Network Executive. She went to school to learn about how and why TV is the way it is and hopes to someday tear someone's creative vision down and re-edit it to her liking. In the meantime, she and her husband live in Huntsville, Alabama and they occasionally blog here http://innappropriateapplause.tumblr.com when they are not geeking out over all the SCIENCE! in Rocket City. 

The Glee Project

By: Mayson Astle

After 10 excruciating weeks of underdog after underdog being kicked off Oxygen’s “The Glee Project,” it came down to our final three contestants, Ally, Aylin, and Blake. Ally, the pretty blonde in the wheelchair, Aylin, the rebellious Muslim, and the all-too-normal-for-Ryan Murphy stud Blake.  No doubt, any contender could have won “The Glee Project” and been an excellent addition to the show. In the end, thought, there can only be one winner.

             

When all-too-normal-for-Ryan-Murphy-girl, Shanna was kicked off a few weeks earlier, it finally hit me that Ryan Murphy has one goal: Make “Glee” the most controversial show on television while still remaining on the air.  He throws in some sing-song pop music to make the show digestible while constantly pushing the limits of what the television-watching public will accept, making each character a stereotype hyperbole and avoiding "normal" like the plague.

            

When it came down to The Glee Project Finale,  I suspected Blake, the heartthrob contestant who led the group each week and acted like a star, had no emotional heartstrings to pull of Ryan Murphy’s.  The only stereotype possibly applicable to Blake was the cliched handsome high school boy. I had no hope for him to win. He seemed too "normal" to join the cast of TV’s most controversial program.         

So imagine my surprise when Mr. Murphy named Blake the winner. I was both shocked and delighted. With the adorable Finn graduated, the only cute boys left on “Glee” are gay. I knew Blake was what “Glee” needed but I doubted Mr. Murphy would see it that way. I thought for sure we’d have 7 episodes of loud and annoying Aylin.  I was happy to be mistaken.

Thank you, Ryan Murphy, for reviving my faith in a fourth season. Thank you, Blake, for being the cliché that will hopefully make Glee less of a cliché. 

Mayson Astle is at Utah Valley University studying English Education. She has wanted to be a teacher since she was 8 years old. She enjoys running, board games, reading and TV watching. Her TV favorites are Grey's Anatomy, The Office and Modern Family. Check her out at maysonastle.blogspot.com

More like Bachelor SAD, amirite guys?

Is this a joke?

This week on Bachelor Pad we witnessed an unfortunate epidemic. Chris, pictured above, seduced a third woman. Third. Him. What? How? Why? I don't know. The only plausible explanation is some new strain of cabin fever, the progression of which is made infinitely worse with alcohol consumption. The most alarming symptoms of this devastating disease are the words coming out of the victims' mouths. "He's so hot," said one. "He has the hottest voice," said another. "I love his eyes," said one more. Someone call a doctor. Chris Harrison doesn't count.

Of his conquest of Sarah, girl number 3, Chris said, "The best thing I have done is trade in Blakely and Jamie for Sarah. It's like getting a new car. It's got that new car smell. It's smoother and nicer and easier for me." Sarah is one lucky lady. We all dream of objectification and becoming a man's smoother, nicer and easier ride. Hey Sarah, can you tell me where to buy Eau De New Car?
I hate to throw around accusations, but I'm going to go ahead and pitch this one right at his face: MISOGYNIST. Think that's too harsh? Earlier in the episode he said about Jamie, "The only way to shut her up is to kiss her." See?

I'm curious to see what the future holds for Chris. Bachelor Pad will end. He will go back to reality where women are not infected with Bachelor Pad Fever. I suspect he will try to date these women. These women will have seen him on the show or they will have friends who saw him on the show. I hope he thoroughly enjoyed his time with Sarah because she is most likely the last female he will ever touch.

The challenge this week was called "Bachelor Pad Gameshow Mashup." ABC, it's time to hire a copywriter. Erica was accused of eating her hair, and honestly I believe it. Jamie said Jaclyn was fake, which inexplicably came as a surprise to Jaclyn. Ed and Jaclyn won and then went on a date with each other. They sang the National Anthem at Dodger Stadium and made Roseanne's rendition sound down right reverent. Chris and Sarah acted in an action short, and Sarah said, "We are literally making an action movie." Really? Literally? I thought this whole thing was just a metaphor. Blakely and Jamie drank wine and argued about Chris, who was off getting a new car named Sarah. Everyone discussed alliances and strategy like they were about to invade Poland. After forty five minutes of super boring voting footage, Dave and Jamie were sent home. Dave, the superfan, was elated to be doing his limo exit interview. He grinned from ear to ear and cried tears of joy reflecting on the time he was lucky enough to spend on Bachelor Pad. Maybe he was drunk. He was probably drunk. Jamie cried tears of sorrow. And then probably egged Chris' car.

Until next time, BP. In the words of Blakely, "Here's to another week, great challenges, more bonding and more drinking." Cheers, Blakely. Cheers.

Drop dead, Diva

One time I was super hungry and short on time so I ran to a small Mexican restaurant next door and ordered a chicken burrito. It wasn't great, but it was edible and I was starving so I nomnomnomed it until I felt a crunch. There was a bone in my chicken burrito. And with that one crunchy bite the chicken burrito went from   mediocre to the worst thing I've ever eaten.

I had Drop Dead Diva playing while I was doing other things. It's not the kind of show that requires full attention and it's edible. Not great, but edible. Or it was until the Kramer Versus Kramer Chimp episode, or the bone in the chicken burrito that is this show. A recently divorced couple fighting over custody of their chimp, and though the mother is granted full custody, she has a change of heart and hands over Sunny (the ape), to her deserving husband. I was half expecting her to talk about painting clouds in the monkey's bedroom. It would be one thing if triple D was doing a parody of Kramer, but it was most definitely meant to be a heart-felt, touching story. About a chimp. All I could think about was the story of the chimp that tore a lady's face off. And about how many brain cells I had lost and could never get back.

Is any one else ready for fall television again? 

Drinking and a little hot tub action

This week's Bachelor Pad set feminism back seventy years with a challenge called "Hot Sludge Fun Day" in which our bikini-clad lady contestants swam through a sea of ice cream, rolled around in hot fudge and covered themselves with nuts. For reals.
Why did they consent to participate in such a ridiculous display? Because they were drunk. They are always drunk.

Ed, who has lost every challenge every week, said about losing this week,"This is the worst thing that has ever happened to me." He forgot about the previous two lost challenges that were also the worst things that ever happened to him because he was drunk.

Chris, the most annoying man on television said of Dave, "Dave is completely clueless when it comes to girls, obviously." Chris doesn't deal well with jealousy. Because he's drunk. Also really annoying.

"I've never been on a date with three girls at the same time."  Said Dave, who I actually don't think was drunk. Just confused. Granted, my dating experience is limited, but a man on a date with three women at a fake high school prom isn't normal, right?

"I could say I've had luck at the prom before,"  Said Dave. You could say that, but I feel like you would be lying. Or drunk.

Chris, the most annoying drunk man on television said, "I feel like the neighbors might call the cops on us." The Bachelor mansion has neighbors? They haven't all run for the hills already? If they have stuck around I'm sure they've grown accustomed to what a very drunk Sarah called, "drinking and a little hot tub action."

On her three to one prom date with Dave, Jamie, who was probably drunk, pulled the no-fail rose getting maneuver during her one on one time. She talked about her family and cried. This has never not worked for rose-seekers. She's a smart drunk.

Tony, who didn't seem drunk but had to be because his shirt was the worst color pink I've ever seen, said "I believe that I deserve the rose because I'm playing for my son." Tony is playing Hot Sludge Fun Day for his son.

I stopped paying attention after this because two hours is too long to pay attention to these people.

He's the one who knocks

As of last night I am completely caught up on Breaking Bad. It took two weeks. Meanwhile I'm still reading the same book I started five months ago. Me FTW.

Remember when Walter White was a protagonist?
At the end of the pilot episode I said, "Poor Walt."
At the end of  season 4 I said, "I hate Walt."
At the end of last night's episode I said, "I'm scared of Walt."
And if I had to guess, at the end of the series I'll probably say "I'm glad Walt is dead."
This dude has become the most sinister antagonist currently on air.

There's that Sunday School lesson about the frog in the cold water that slowly boils to death. Walt was absent that Sunday and sadly will never realize that the object lesson is his life except instead of water it's meth and millions of dollars. But the end is the same...Walt's toast.

Walt has to die. The show can't pull a Harry Potter and be all happy ending. It's not possible. So how will it be? A shoot out as the season premiere suggests? Doubt it. If there's one thing this show doesn't do, it's the expected. Will it be cancer? Possibly. My bet is suicide. Or is he too proud?

Your thoughts?

The best thing on TV this week

NBC hates me and won't let me embed this video, but I strongly encourage you to click this link and watch McKayla Maroney's olympic vault performance, the best thing I saw on TV this week.

Your "Make It Work" Moment

That collar is made of gummy sharks. IKR?!

When Stephen saw me watching the latest episode of Project Runway, he said "That show is still on?" Of course it's still on. This show will outlive us all except for Heidi Klum because she doesn't age. As long as there are people making clothes out of candy and talking smack about their fellow competitors on camera, people like me will watch it.

Like all reality television, it's hard to know how much of the workroom drama is directed and how much is genuine. I doubt Gunnar hates Christopher as much as he claims to. I doubt Buffi is annoying as they edit her to be. I do believe that Lantie was just as annoying as she appeared- Good riddance, Lantie

I have a few favorites this season. I would wear the clothes Melissa creates. I would want to wear the clothes Christopher creates, but never could. I want to be friends with Kooan . But Sonjia, pictured above, is my favorite. Guys, that ensemble is made of sweets. And made in like 12 hours. It would take me an entire lifetime to partially complete that project and my children's children would work on it for years to come.

Who is your favorite?