Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Parks n Rec's Heartfelt Halloween. Also, Fart Attack

By John Richards


“Am I interrupting something important?”

“Impossible. I work for the government.”

I’ve always wondered why every sitcom feels like it needs to make holiday episodes for their shows. Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Valentines Day. I guess holiday parties are easy situations for writers to feature characters’ zany antics. However, this past week’s episode of Parks and Recreation, or Parks n Rec for us diehards, managed to weave some major drama in with the usual Halloween lulz.

First, we find out Ron is continuing his relationship with Xena: Warrior Princess, Lucy Lawless, Vice Principal Diane, who has invited him to come trick or treating with her and her little girls. Andy invited himself along as well. April being in Washington DC with Ben has allowed the show to pair Ron and Andy together a lot more this season, resulting in hilarious Andy-ness with Ron looking on with disapproval.

Meanwhile, Councilwoman Knope has been looking for a house for her and Ben to move into together, after Ben comes back from DC. After learning that no house comes equipped with a trampoline room, she decides to lease one anyways, resulting in a celebratory rave feat. Anne.


The Parks Department is hosting a scary movie party in the courtyard of the city offices, providing an opportunity for everyone to dress up in costumes. Donna is addicted to Twitter. Snooze. Moving on.

Ben calls Leslie to say that he might be taking another campaign manager job in Florida. But Leslie just signed a lease for that house, oh no! Leslie is bummed about Ben, so Anne says let’s go scare Tom, but instead they frighten Jerry, who promptly has a fart attack heart attack. Leslie kicks into her “Save insert cause here!” mode and holds a garage sale/live auction to raise money for Jerry’s medical bills. The entire garage sale auction bit was quite unfunny, although Tom did discover a new business idea: Rent-a-Swag. I really hope this means the return of Jean-Ralphio. *fingers crossed*

Back to the other plotline, Diane left her kids with Ron to continue trick or treating while she attended to a poop incident at the school. Of course, Ron has no idea what to do and ruins the rest of the night. At the Save Jerry garage sale auction, Diane confronts Ron about the ordeal. Unable to admit fault, Ron further angers Diane who storms off in rage (personally I wouldn’t piss off Xena, but this IS Ron Swanson that we’re talking about). April, oh yeah she is back from DC now, makes fun of Ron being sad about losing Diane. This makes Ron realize that he does want to continue with Diane, so he does something completely un-Swanson-esque -- apologize.

Back to Leslie, Ben calls and says the Florida guy really wants him to run his campaign. Leslie is even more sad, but while visiting him in the hospital, Jerry drops a wisdom bomb on her about life happiness. Leslie decides that her future with Ben can wait while he chases his career goals. While Leslie is trying to get out of the lease that she just signed, SURPRISE, Ben shows up and gets down on a knee and proposes to Leslie. Awwwww.

Now the gang’s all back together and the show can return to normalcy. It was great to see the show use the annual Halloween episode to further develop characters and plug in some treat, rather than a half an hour of stale tricks. Can’t wait for next week solely because of the title: Ben’s Parents.

John is currently pursuing a JD/MBA at Santa Clara University School of Law. He likes sports, technology, and of course television. Follow him on twitter @j_rich or check out his blog www.johnericrichards.com.

Monday, October 29, 2012

TV Potpourri: links to various miscellaneous extraneous televaneous things

By Erin Jackson

Here is an infographic about everyone's favorite television neighbor, Fred Rogers. (ps has anyone seen the new Daniel Tiger's Nieghborhood? Is it any good? Is it really creepy?)

Arrested Development is coming and I for one start hyperventilating whenever I think about it, so when I heard about this documentary about the making of the new episodes, it pretty much put me into a coma.

I really love Key and Peele, and this is probably my second favorite sketch of the second season. Here Peter Atencio, the director and then some, describes some of the behind the scenes stuff of how they get the rights to things and things like that feed my nerdy little heart. (kind of NSFW? some swears are bleeped out?)

Want to "watch" TV when you're supposed to be "watching" something more important? This site hosts audio for TV and movies and more so you can multitask your heart out. I'm listening to an episode of Animaniacs as I type this.

Adventure Time's season finale was this Monday and it was so mathematical, but I am still stuck on the episode before. It broke my heart and warmed it at the same time, like it like was overheated in a microwave. And I'm not alone. This piece of fan art is a touching depiction of that heart wrenching episode.

Halloween is this week, which means this weekend is full of Halloweenie things, too. If you are going to have any sort of gathering, might I recommend this cover of Werewolf Bar Mitzvah (which might be my favorite thing on 30 Rock ever) for atmosphere?

Stephen Colbert gave a pretty great interview with Terry Gross (can either of them do any wrong?) in which he talks about music that has had an impact on his life. I particularly like his comparison of he and Jon Stewart to Elvis Costello and Bruce Springsteen.

Erin Floyd Jackson has been BFFs with TV since she was a wee one when she would play TV Network Executive. She went to school to learn about how and why TV is the way it is and hopes to someday tear someone's creative vision down and re-edit it to her liking. In the meantime, she and her husband live in Huntsville, Alabama and they occasionally "blog" here (http://inappropriateapplause.tumblr.com/) when they are not geeking out over all the SCIENCE! in the Rocket City.

Friday, October 26, 2012

I'm not here to make friends

By Meg Walter

 

Before we dive into the Project Runway All Stars premiere, let's talk about season 10's finale. Spoiler alert, obviously, but if you haven't watched it by now, be honest with yourself- you probably never will.

Christopher fell apart. The footage we saw of  Christopher was a red-eyed, snarky little man pacing back and forth muttering "What  fits?! What fits?!" The gown he sent down  the runway was fabulous, but the rest of his collection was meh.

Melissa made clothes that I would  actually buy and wear, but I shop at Target and  Old Navy so that isn't saying much in terms of fashion credibility.

I was worried Fabio might win. I understand that his collection was the freshest and most forward thinking, but I found most of it crooked and confusing. Plus I hate it when designers give their collections ridiculously pretentious names like "Urban Tribalism" or whatever he called it. Puh-lease.

So it was a relief that Dimitry took it.  As the season's dark  house, he won very few challenges,  but produced consistently solid pieces,  culminating in his final collection which was perfectly polished, masterfully tailored, and deserving of the win.

As for the three runners-up, I'm confident we'll  see them again  on an All Stars season. Speaking of...

Last  night we met the  All Star designers who will keep our Thursday nights exciting for the next  few months. I  know  that  they bring back some of the most  talented designers, but they also seem to bring back  the feistiest contestants because what's Project Runway without some nasty bad-mouthing? Joshua, the biggest Diva in PR history, is sure to keep things pretty heated, and Wendy already stated,"I'm not here to make friends," which gave me delighted  chills.

Design wise, it's  already clear that the standard is high and there were some pieces, like Ivy's jacket, Casanova's dress, and Anthony Ryan's whole look that really blew me away. Of course there were some rough ensembles,  and Peach,with her wacky sleeves dress  deserved to get the boot.

I prefer the All Star judges, even though some of Georgina's  own designs in her collection are totally bonkers. Isaac is what Michael Kors should be, and  how great was it to  see Mondo  again? No one can replace Tim Gunn, ever, but Joanna Coles is  a solid mentor, doling out design advice that makes a lot of  sense.

We're for an exciting season, kids.  As far as predictions go, I think Suede is  gone next week, and I  thinkthat Anthony Ryan,  Ivy and Laura will go far. Your thoughts?

Meg Walter writes about television to justify watching so darn much of it. When she's not on her couch letting her brain turn to jello she's blogging at tobetomars.blogspot.com, playing with her baby girl, or beating her husband in board games.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

You Say You Want a Revolution

By Megan Geilman


What would happen if one day everything electronic in the world stopped working? Complete global blackout: no cell phones, no email, no air travel, no instagram...not to mention complete lack of running water, heat, or modern medicine. This is the question that is asked in J.J. Abram’s new drama Revolution, which premiered with record numbers in September on NBC.

The show takes place 15 years after the blackout has happened, with flashbacks for character and storyline background. Everything is overgrown and a vigilante militia has ruthlessly taken over and no one is allowed to have guns except them...and so continues the current craze of bow and arrow glory. The two main characters are played by Tracy Spiridakos (“Charlie Matheson”) and Billy Burke (“Miles Matheson”) and embody a girl and her uncle who are on a rescue mission after the militia has killed her father and taken her brother captive. Giancarlo Esposito, who is very good at being bad, plays the menacing Captain Tom Neville, who is much more devious than his name would suggest. There are some friendly faces from LOST (Jacob and Juliet both play characters here that should get more air time as the show progresses) and Twihard’s should love seeing Bella’s dad sans mustache.

The show has it’s strong points: There are juicy details along the way that should make for some really good dramatic irony later on and who HASN’T wondered what a global blackout would be like? Probably the biggest issue I take with the show so far is rendered in a quote Joel McHale gave on Jimmy Kimmel: “It’s an apocalypse where everyone looks AWESOME.” Seriously. Everyone’s clothes seem to fit juuust right and the lack of makeup on the women looks very made up. And in 15 years apparently just the children aged.

The show also has a lot of unanswered questions (A J.J. Abram’s show with unanswered questions??) with the science of it: like how batteries and turbines don’t work and how all the planes dropped out of the sky like they didn’t have wings or momentum. Apparently magnets and newton’s law don’t work in the apocalypse either. However, if you can handle the unlikelihood of this hollywood-esque apocalypse, and have been looking for an opportunity to ask yourself “What would I do if I couldn’t google my way out of a problem?” than NBC’s Revolution might be the show for you.

Megan Geilman has had an on-again-off-again relationship with television since she was young and her parents occasionally let her stay up to watch Star Trek and X-Files. She recently relocated to beautiful San Clemente, CA with her husband, unborn child, and design business. She lives a half mile from the beach and plans on eating a lot of avocados. She occasionally blogs at http://ratedgforgeilman.blogspot.com andhttp://megangeilmandesign.blogspot.com

Monday, October 22, 2012

Community Blues

By Erin Jackson


So, there's that. Also, there's this. And I'm just… the opposite of Batman over all of it. Cut it out, NBC. And Chevy. My heart is already broken, there's no need to keep stomping on it like a frog in a sombrero or an overcooked yam.


Erin Floyd Jackson has been BFFs with TV since she was a wee one when she would play TV Network Executive. She went to school to learn about how and why TV is the way it is and hopes to someday tear someone's creative vision down and re-edit it to her liking. In the meantime, she and her husband live in Huntsville, Alabama and they occasionally "blog" here (http://inappropriateapplause.tumblr.com/) when they are not geeking out over all the SCIENCE! in the Rocket City.

Friday, October 19, 2012

Survivor Philippines 4&5: Wherein it is still raining.

By Lorraine Jackson

Episode 4:


As much as I want to open with a zinger, what CBS did to open the 4th episode of Survivor Philippines deserves nothing less than complete reverence. In an age of reality TV based around screaming, yakking, drunken embarrassment, and skanky girls pulling each other’s hair, the show opened with two minutes of starkly depressing silence. Matsing, being short half a tribe and completely down on their luck, tried to start a fire. And failed. Bravo, CBS.

Amongst other tribes, Kalabaw has an interesting twist when several days in the wild seem to reform the early alliances, and the tribe quickly divides as boys vs. girls. Keep in mind, that’s 3 vs. 3. Good luck with that. In Tandang, Abi continues to prove that the hotter and more exotic a woman is, the crazier she is.

Then the camera crews spend about 5 minutes following Russell while he looks everywhere for the idol. In a confessional interview, he correctly predicts to those of us at home “you’ve probably all watched me walk past it 100 times, and the camera guys are showing it to you right now.” You have. And they did.

I can hardly bear to watch the reward/immunity challenge.People are muddy, pots are breaking, people are screaming, and Loserly Matsing spends the first 70% of the challenge in the lead, and I start chanting survivor hymnals at my cubicle, to the alarm of my coworkers. (at least it was during my lunch break.)

To no avail. Matsing loses, Russell wrestles with God on national television, and not only does a higher power fail to help him win the challenge, that higher power doesn’t do much to intervene with Wise Malcolm and Therapist Denise from Sending Russell home. Sorry, Russell.

Episode 5:

 

By the end of last week’s episode, it was abundantly clear that Matsing was poised for dissolution. Malcom is sent to the crazy but athletic tribe of Tandang to be the new eye candy, and Denise is sent to the stable but accident-prone Kalabaw. What hurts most for me about this is that, as a Matsing Sympathizer, I know that one of them is about to lose a challenge, again.

Poor Denise.

They briefly show Wise Malcolm chowing down on the chocolate chip cookie rewards, surrounded by smelly beautiful women wooing him and rugged strong men secretly telling him of their idols and alliances. Malcolm is probably wondering just a little bit if he actually died in his frozen wet sleep in Matsing and that this is actually Heaven.

Denise was busy watching Dana puke her guts out.

It’s not long before the 80 pound blondie is tended to by the Emmy-Winning Jeff Probst, and begs for mercy. Because, you know, in America, when you’re hungry and starving and sick, there’s a camera and a medivac team to rescue you. #firstworldproblems. EWJP reassures her that “the pain is about to go away”, which was a little ominous for my tastes, but seemed good enough for her. Dawson introduces herself to America for pretty much the first time ever by wondering aloud “is now the wrong time to chat up Jeff Probst?” Yes, Dawson, it is. Nice to meet you.

Kalabaw decides to keep Denise’s losing streak alive by losing the immunity challenge, and I return to my cubicle chanting on behalf of my favorite player, who is clearly vulnerable as the new member of the tribe. But it’s quickly obvious that BaseballJeff, BlondeCarter, and ReturnerJonathan are happy with her contributions, and bring her into their alliance to take out the weak girls.

They send home Dawson, the Delusional Future Mrs. Probst, leaving her with mere seconds to leave a mark on America, and, apparently, on EWJP’s heart. He snuffs out her torch, and she tries to light his fire with a tender hug and a smelly cheek smooch. EWJP takes this in stride, which is why he deserves all those Emmys.

Stay tuned in next week to see if any more people try to kiss Jeff Probst!

Lorraine is a University employee by day, trash TV enthusiast at night, and equestrian nutcase all the time. She is wildly outnumbered by dudes in the house she shares with her husband Dan, cat Jeoffrey, and dog Reverend Trask.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Lily, oh Lily…

By Erin Jackson
 
 


I like How I Met Your Mother about 75% of the time, and I guess that makes sense since I like about 75% of the main characters, or at least find them to be well rounded and flawed enough to be amused by them.

The 25% I can't stand? Lily. I feel so bad for Alyson Hannigan because she is amazing and she brings a lot of heart to her, but the character is so beyond bland that nothing she gives her can be enough to make up for that.
Take for example the past Monday's episode. Lily and Marshall go outside for the first time without their new baby and realize that death is all around them, so they go home to write up their will (on a website, even though Marshall is a lawyer?) and Lily cries the whole time because she is a mother and that's what all mothers do all the time apparently. They have trouble deciding who should be their son's godparent and so Marshall ends up creating a game show to chose between their three best friends.

What bothers me is that this is the second time that Marshall has created a game and so this is his thing. It's also Lily's dad's thing. So, why give this trait to Marshall and not Lily? I think it would have been great if Lily was really amazing at coming up with board games or game shows and that her dad was still horrible at it. It would have led to some interesting character development. But, nope. They went with the creepy "every girl ends up marrying her dad" thing that is done to death. They have stopped giving her any personality trait or quirk unless it reinforces her being a stereotypical mother or wife.

Lily hasn't always been passive and bland. In the first season, she had doubts about marrying her only serious boyfriend, even though she knew they were meant for each other. She felt conflicted since she had always planned on living her life in a different way since she was an ardent feminist and artist. She didn't want to lose herself for someone, even if she loved them. She and Marshall broke up for a while, then got back together, and since then, her fears have been proven to be well founded. Her art became a joke, any ambition for anything other than being a wife and mother disappeared (I'm talking no hobbies or interests or anything, not just that she gave up a career, which would have been fine) and she became a walking caricature. Last season she got "pregnancy brain" and was bumbling and incompetent for a while. She is still easily distractible and overly emotional, though it is not acknowledged by anyone. Apparently her best friends aren't concerned by any of this and that really really irks me. Unless they pull a "Everyone Says I Love You" and it turns out she has had a brain tumor that has zapped her personality and it's removed and she's an interesting, multi-faceted person again, I sadly have to bid adieu to the potential that was Season One Lily.


Erin Floyd Jackson has been BFFs with TV since she was a wee one when she would play TV Network Executive. She went to school to learn about how and why TV is the way it is and hopes to someday tear someone's creative vision down and re-edit it to her liking. In the meantime, she and her husband live in Huntsville, Alabama and they occasionally "blog" here (http://inappropriateapplause.tumblr.com/) when they are not geeking out over all the SCIENCE! in the Rocket City.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

The heartbreak felt round the world

By Meg Walter

Are you wearing black? Have you spent the morning crying? Did you cancel all your plans and decide to spend the day in bed? Well you have every right to because last night love officially died.

 
Jef with one F Holm and Emily Maynard confirmed their split. "It was a very difficult and heartbreaking decision," Maynard said. Read: their contract expired."What we shared was completely genuine and real and it breaks my heart but we have decided to break up," said Jef with one F. Read: Let me tell you about People Water!

But serisously, if these two crazy kids who fell in love on national television after spending a total of seven hours together and using a good deal of camera time to talk about PEOPLE WATER and meeting the child they would be raising together one time and playing with uber creepy puppets and calling it a metaphor for love can't make it, what chance do the rest of us have?
 
Now we have to wait until January (JANUARY?!) to feel the magic again when Sean, arguably the most boring man alive, woos twenty-five tan, perfect haired ladies all named Kristin, Courtney or Rachel and pops the question with a NEIL LANE rock and shows up beaming to the After The Rose show. But honestly I don't think my heart can make it til then.
 
In other news, Ben and Courtney also split but no one cared cause they're the worst.
 
Meg Walter writes about television to justify watching so darn much of it. When she's not on her couch letting her brain turn to jello she's blogging at tobetomars.blogspot.com, playing with her baby girl, or beating her husband in board games.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Revenge is a Dish Best Served Serialized

By Jen Gulbrandsen



In this edition of Who is Nate Sleeping With Tonight, we see some old faces that we didn’t miss (Nelly Yuki) and some we did (Dorota!).  Chuck’s suits are pretty glorious this evening, and Serena manages to make her ratty ponytail look even worse than usual, and that Marc by Marc dress Blair wears in the final scene is truly glorious.  In terms of actual plot, we have three things happening: Blair is trying to be the head of the Waldorf Fashion Haus, Chuck is trying to bring down his not-dead father, and everyone else is trying to find relevancy. 

Nate continues to search for it in the bedroom.  Dan is the woman scorned trying to publish the ultimate tell-all, which is good for me to see so I can be talked out of doing the same thing.  Serena’s entrance into high society has basically come of sleeping her way there.  There’s not a lot in this world I can trust, but Serena’s consistency is always appreciated.

I don’t know why I even bother to watch this anymore considering I saw the ultimate spoiler photo posted on the Internet today, but when Georgina opens her mouth I’m reminded that there is actually some wit in that writer’s room.  As funny as all of those one-liners may be, I am still caught up on one minor, miniscule detail: why did none of these kids finish college?  Did Chuck even apply to college?  I can’t even remember where Blair ended up.  And how could Nate abandon the Columbia lacrosse team? 

It pains me to say this, because she is my Queen and I love her (when she’s not being written horribly, as she is right now), but how is Blair even remotely qualified to run a large design house?  Are we even sure Nate knows how to spell?  I know the Upper East Side (UES) is awfully strange as it is, but I mean, one can only suspend disbelief for so long.

Serena dating an old dude from Seventh Heaven with a seventeen-year-old daughter who goes to Constance isn’t difficult to believe though.  I’m fairly certain she’s the character the writers throw all of their crazy ideas onto.  I can just see them in the room laughing at their computers, saying, “ha – I wonder if anyone will notice if we do this to her!”  Drugs?  Alcohol?  Sex tape?  Rehab?  Murder?  Serena!  It’s no wonder I can’t stand her – she’s the ultimate soap opera caricature. 

Did I mention that Nate’s sleepover buddy is the aforementioned seventeen-year-old girl?

“It’s legal; I checked,” says she.

Gosh, I just love you Gossip Girl.

Jen emphasized in English at Brigham Young University. She currently freelances as a ghost writer and works as a personal stylist to feed her addiction to all things pretty. Her TV preferences range from The Vampire Diaries to Arrested Development and she lives in a fantasy world where Stars Hollow still exists. See more at jengulbrandsen.blogspot.com.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

∞ + ∞ Reasons I ♥ Revenge

By Erin Jackson


Revenge is one of those shows that is at once ridiculously addictive and addictively ridiculous. I found myself going through season one in about a week of binge-watching on Netflix and find myself looking forward to Sunday night TV again. Why does it have this power over me and all its fans? To start, here are infinity plus infinity reasons I love Revenge (okay, it's just eight, but eight is a lot):

1. Nolan and his spy cameras. There are Revenge fans that think he and Emily will hook up eventually but honestly I don't see how he could ever love anything as much as he loves spy cameras. It's adorable how his face lights up with glee any time he has an excuse to make a hidden camera and it's like half the reason I watch Revenge, if I'm honest. Why even write the rest of this article? Oh, that's right because of...

2. The Luke and Jess-ness of the brothers Porter. They live above their liquid and food selling small businesses in a town of quirky rich people and don't fit in. The younger one (Declan) has the hots for the wealthy daughter of the least liked and richest person in town (okay, so not quite Rory, but still), and they are kind of grumpy a lot. It warms my Gilmore Girls-nostalgic heart.

3. Apparently, the Hamptons should be called Schrödinger's Town because everyone is pretty much both dead and alive, depending on when they are observed. And I like that. They play it up and it works for me.

4. Emily VanCamp's face. It's pretty adorable and great, and can really handle the layered nature of Emily Thorne. Sometimes, she'll deliver a line that is so innocuous but she'll give this furtive look, and other times, she'll talk about all her conniving schemes with Nolan and she'll say it so matter of fact that it makes you go "dang, girl, you're nuts".

5. The music gets a solid B+ from me. I have whipped out my phone to Shazam a few times and that's always a good sign.

6. Dramatic irony is pretty standard for soaps, but Revenge takes it up a few notches and it's delightful. Its narration helps make this even more delicious.

7. It's a show that my mom and I can watch and talk about. Now, my mom has awesome taste in TV (she managed to work Breaking Bad into a Sunday school lesson a few weeks ago) so it's not an issue of us watching the same shows, but it's fun to have an out there, over-the-top, soap-like show that we can call each other and be all "what?!" about.

8. Backstory and flashbacks! I love a good flashback episode, and there are a number of them, especially in the latter half of the first season, as well as a peppering of them throughout the series. They really help move the show along and keep it grounded in Emily's quest, which could easily be dwarfed by all the mess around her.

Intrigued by this list? Revenge is on Sunday nights on ABC and can be watched on Netflix Instant, so vengeance can be had by all!

Erin Floyd Jackson has been BFFs with TV since she was a wee one when she would play TV Network Executive. She went to school to learn about how and why TV is the way it is and hopes to someday tear someone's creative vision down and re-edit it to her liking. In the meantime, she and her husband live in Huntsville, Alabama and they occasionally "blog" here (http://inappropriateapplause.tumblr.com/) when they are not geeking out over all the SCIENCE! in the Rocket City.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Mouth to mouth on public transportation? Yeah, I’d call that rock bottom


By Jen Gulbrandsen


It’s the end of Gossip Girl, a thought I can hardly stand.  The show is, without question, my favorite guilty pleasure.  The clothing and the characters and the clear nonsense of the entire thing.  And Chuck.  Always Chuck.

Before we move forward with these recaps, there’s something important you must know.  I am a Chair shipper.  I love Chuck and I love Blair and I love them together and the only ending for this show that I will accept is a Chuck and Blair wedding.  If you’re Team Blair and Dan, or Team Dan and Anyone other than Death for that matter, I doubt we’ll exactly agree on reactions to episodes.

Now then.  Last season ended with complete character assassination for each and every single person, with none so great as Serena giving herself to some gross dude for drugs on the MetroNorth train, assumedly bound for New Haven and more gross dudes.  The most shocking shark jump was the reveal that Bart Bass has actually been alive this entire time, only returning to screw over his dear, darling son.  This led to a Monte Carlo gambling trip for Chuck, and ended with a tryst in the bedroom with his surprise guest, Blair.

Like I said – best guilty pleasure ever.

This premiere episode was weak, and disjointed, and had to rely on cheap stunts to move forward, but let’s face it, we’re not watching for good television.  We’re watching to see if Nate will whore it up again (and after next week’s promo, it looks like you won’t be let down at all).  Or maybe to see if Ivy ever gets voice therapy to fix her raspy, smoker tone.  I’m watching to see Chuck and Blair live happily ever after.  Odds are high that no one is watching for Barry Watson.  And that Ivy/Rufus happening?  Unfortunately none of can un-see that one. 

This final season holds an element of anticipation as we wait for the reveal of Gossip Girl.  I have my theories.  I think we know who she is.  There are even days that I think she might actually be Dan.  But until he shaves his stray neck hairs and gets a good haircut, I can’t pay him any more mention.

Finally, let’s talk about a certain little glittery rock that rests on a long chain around Blair’s neck.  Don’t fail me Gossip Girl writers!  Give me what I want!  It’s the least you can do for making me sit through years of bad puns and implausible plot development.

Thankfully we’ll always have Georgina’s zingers to save what little is left of this series.

Jen emphasized in English at Brigham Young University. She currently freelances as a ghost writer and works as a personal stylist to feed her addiction to all things pretty. Her TV preferences range from The Vampire Diaries to Arrested Development and she lives in a fantasy world where Stars Hollow still exists. See more at jengulbrandsen.blogspot.com.

Monday, October 8, 2012

Survivor Philippines: Yes, There is a Swimming Component.

By Lorraine Jackson

Let’s do a quick rhyming recap of Episode 2, shall we?

Jonathan found the idol,
hidden right under his nose.
Roxy freaked her teammates out,
when she spoke in gibbering prose.

Lisa had a nervous breakdown,
Child stardom breaks your head.
And Abi spoke the words I crave,
“if you **** with me, you’re dead.”

Kalabaw and Tandang won,
So Matsing must vote again.
They sent home the gibbering Roxy,
I’ll miss her crazy in the den!

Feel caught up? Good. Because Episode three is a barrel of fun.

Episode Three: Enter Peter, the quiet engineering grad of red hooded death. Peter gets right to work making things happen in the Yellow Tribe of Tandang, which includes Childstar Lisa, Lingerie RC, Brazilian Abi, Medivac Michael, and the TBD Artis. Peter layed low, and pretty soon, he is going to be orchestrating making people cry, and saving the childstar. IAMSOEXCITED.

Reward/Immunity Challenge:
I like some people on the loserliest of loser teams, Matsing. But I LOVE to watch them lose. Survivor so beautifully separates true athleticism from fake athleticism, and watching skinny runner Angie and tough man Russell flail in the water like two cats with one leg between them is the best kind of entertainment. 41 year-old Denise the Dolphin is the team’s saving grace, and my personal hero. I want to look like that when I’m 41.

Even knowing that Russell and Angie were on the verge of drowning through most of the challenge, I was still shocked when Matsing lost the reward and immunity in another nail-biter. Again. For the third time. Golly, how I love reality TV.

Before we get to tribal council, there is a positively DIVINE scene of Abi bouncing around camp trying to find the immunity idol by digging two inches down in the sand with a tiny bamboo stick on a ¼ mile stretch of beach. It is so priceless it should be GIF’ed. Anyone know how to GIF?

Tribal Council goes about as you would expect after these priceless words from Wise Malcolm:
“it’s just tragic that I’m stuck out here with this goonsquad of a tibe. A girl who couldn’t get a float out from two feet of water. Russell, built like an ox, couldn’t climb a ladder to save his life. And Denise is a rockstar. A little munchkin of muscle.”

If I were there, I would have voted to send home dear sweet Utah local sweetheart Angie just because she seems to genuinely believe that “I would of went again” is a legitimate sentence. And a legitimate defense.

Matsing voted to send home dear sweet Utah local sweetheart Angie because they want to eat tomorrow. And it became painfully clear that a 97 pound blonde 20 year old was not contributing to that cause. Farewell, Utah Favorite.

Tune in again soon to see if Matsing can keep their magnificent losing streak alive!

Lorraine is a University employee by day, trash TV enthusiast at night, and equestrian nutcase all the time. She is wildly outnumbered by dudes in the house she shares with her husband Dan, cat Jeoffrey, and dog Reverend Trask.

Friday, October 5, 2012

And then sometimes television breaks your heart.

By Meg Walter


In the Project Runway workroom, Tim Gunn said to Sonjia, "Do I believe that you've been working up to your potential as a designer? No. I don't. I do believe you've been holding back. I believe you haven't been giving it your all. I just know there's so much more in you. You've gotta get it out." As badly as I wanted to disagree and yell at my television, I knew Tim was right and so did Sonjia. Sonjia rallied her spirits and created what she thought would be a hit for the Avant-Garde challenge. Unfortunately the judges found it was a miss, and again I had to reluctantly agree. That dress is not avant-garde. It's droopy and sad and made with mesh.

It's tough when you're favorite isn't the best. Over the past few weeks it's been apparent that Christopher is this season's star, and that although Sonjia is adorable and delightful and an inspiration for short-haired woman everywhere, she does not deserve to win. Is she a better designer than Fabio? Yes. And better than Melissa. But Christopher is more creative and Dimitri is more precise, and in the end she just wasn't going to win.

It's one thing when a favorite is eliminated on The Bachelor or Big Brother. It makes the show slightly less entertaining. But when Tim sends my favorite designer to the workroom to pack up their things, it tears me up. Maybe it's because Sanjia was there to fulfill a dream. Because her mother taught her to sew and it's all she's ever known. She doesn't want to be on the cover of US Weekly. She never said "I'm not here to make friends." She just wants to be successful doing what she loves, just like every one else. But us everyone elses rarely get the opportunity to compete for our dream on television, so we channel our ambitions, pick a favorite, feel their successes and heartaches as our own, and are most often reminded that we can't all live our dreams. There can only be one Project Runway winner. Sadly it's not Sonjia. But she'll keep sewing. We'll all keep trying. And hopefully Heidi's right, Sonjia still has a bright future in fashion, and all us everyone elses have hope yet.

Meg Walter writes about television to justify watching so darn much of it. When she's not on her couch letting her brain turn to jello she's blogging at tobetomars.blogspot.com, playing with her baby girl, or beating her husband in board games..



Thursday, October 4, 2012

No Bones About It

By Megan Geilman


I have been a longtime fan of Fox’s “Bones”--a show based on the life and times of real life Forensic Anthropologist Kathy Reich’s. The main character in the show, Dr. Temperance Brennan is based off of Reich’s protagonist of the same name in her novels, which although a little weak in the writing, have a real life authenticity that cannot be matched. Since I’ve seen every episode at least a couple of times and have read most of her books, I count myself in the “above average” fan base.

Currently we are 3 episodes into the new season of Bones...and so far, things are on the upswing...but just barely. Last season was dismal with a hurriedly copacetic cohabitation with Booth and Brennan and understandably, that had to do with the real-life timing of Emily Deschanel’s pregnancy. But with the writing taking a nosedive and Dr. Lance Sweets looking most of the time like he’d accidentally swallowed some remains...I was almost hesitant to tune in for another season.

But I did, and it may have had to do with the brilliant new serial killer, Christopher Pelant, who although is on house arrest for hacking into a few government agencies, performs his dirty deeds by sending computer codes through his scanned library book returns and even includes carving a computer virus into the bones of one of his remains...pretty inventive, right? Although it was a bit of a hack job bringing him in, inventing new characters and previous scenarios the viewers didn’t know about, his premise was intriguing enough I was excited to see the continuation in the season opener.

Unfortunately, the resolve was a bit of a hack job as well, with Angela “magically” solving the psych patient’s secret wall message--with no explanation whatsoever. I guess we are still supposed to be so wowed by the killer’s genius that we don’t care how they caught him. Luckily for us (and the show’s writers), the plot includes Pelant reviving his egyptian identity and expediting himself from prison allowing a few more episodes where they could possibly win back my affections.

The second episode allowed a little more character development and to resolve some issues with Tempe and Christine’s 3 months absence after being framed by the nefarious Pelant and his devious library book plot. Unfortunately the writing is still pretty bad (puns, really?) and the overall episode was definitely lacking.

The 3rd episode picked it up a bit with a surprise AWESOME explosion (am I sounding a bit too Hodgins-like with that enthusiasm?) and an intriguing unknown-twin-brother-wife-hitman-twist plot with an intense ending where Sweets gets shot while preventing a second explosion...don’t worry, it’s just a flesh wound! The writers also gave me some hope for the rest of the season by introducing a new character, rookie FBI Agent Olivia Sparling. This angry skinny blonde, although initially a bit abrasive, showed promise with hints into a deeper character and does in fact have good chemistry with Sweets. And even though I get attached to my characters and generally don’t like seeing fictional relationships break up...let’s face it, Daisy was annoying as hell.

Megan Geilman has had an on-again-off-again relationship with television since she was young and her parents occasionally let her stay up to watch Star Trek and X-Files. She recently relocated to beautiful San Clemente, CA with her husband, unborn child, and design business. She lives a half mile from the beach and plans on eating a lot of avocados. She occasionally blogs at http://ratedgforgeilman.blogspot.com and http://megangeilmandesign.blogspot.com

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

What a Miserable Future

By Erin Jackson



There is a horrible scene in the season premiere of Fringe where Olivia and Peter are talking, under the smoggy skies of the ruin of New York.

"We didn't save the world," Olivia says to Peter. "Not even by half" he replies. The world they worked and sacrificed for over the past four seasons was all but a rotting corpse. "She's still trying," adds Peter, who is referring to their daughter, Etta.  The daughter they didn't get to raise. As we saw earlier, Henrietta was separated from her parents during an attack by Observers and it was obviously hard on the couple. They went their separate ways; Peter continued to search for Etta while Olivia went to New York to try once again to stop the imminent takeover by Observers, but neither of them were able to accomplish their goal. Instead they were separated from each other, suspended in time for fifteen years.

Central Park is now a carbon dioxide pumping machine, since the air in 2037 apparently still has too much oxygen for the Observers to breathe, which is actually one of the more hopeful things in this bleak, bleak episode. The other hopeful thing? Walter is still Walter, even after being tortured by observers for information for hours and even after having to eat egg sticks (ew). At the end of the episode, he sees a fluttering light outside and investigates. It's a mobile of sorts made from discarded and broken CDs. After some searching he finds an intact mix CD and pops it into a car radio, and out comes the song "Only You" by Yazoo. That wouldn't be high on the list of things I'd want to hear after being frozen for 15 years but in a world where music is rare and merely "tolerated" it's practically rhapsodic, and it's enough to bring hope and a spark back to Walter. It's a small, flickering hope, one that is not ideal but it's hope nonetheless. The answer to the problems became clear, as he gazed at a flower growing their the cracked cement. It would not lie in Walter and Peter's gifts for technology, but in their humanity and love and their determination.



Erin Floyd Jackson has been BFFs with TV since she was a wee one when she would play TV Network Executive. She went to school to learn about how and why TV is the way it is and hopes to someday tear someone's creative vision down and re-edit it to her liking. In the meantime, she and her husband live in Huntsville, Alabama and they occasionally "blog" here (http://inappropriateapplause.tumblr.com/) when they are not geeking out over all the SCIENCE! in the Rocket City.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Call The Midwife

By Allyson Hamacher


If you’re like me and haven’t found a link to watch Downton Abbey Season 3 online (and if you have, PLEASE let me know) Call The Midwife may fill that melodramatic period piece sized whole in all our hearts.

Based on the memoirs of the same name by Jennifer Worth, Call the Midwife is set in East End London during 1957. The show follows Jenny Lee and a group of nuns/midwives delivering the babies of underclass women. Although she has been trained as a nurse and midwife, the difficult living and birthing situations shock her. On her way to the private hospital, she sees a group watching two women physically fighting over a man. And one of the women is pregnant.

Among her midwives, the most noticeable actress is Pam Ferris, who played Trunchbull in Matilda. If you’re terrified by the thought of the woman who engineered the “Chokey” also delivering babies, don’t be; her character is no-nonsense and stoic, but the kind of levelheaded person you’d like to help you through labor.

Like Downton Abbey, the stylizing and costumes are beautiful. The story is interesting and believable enough to hold interest, and the suspense is balanced with enough unfortunate endings to make the drama feel believable. Mixed in, there’s also happiness and wonder that keep things from getting too heavy.

Until Downton Abbey is back online, or when you finish watching it online,try Call the Midwife (discs available through Netflix). At the very least it will make you grateful for more modern birthing methods.

Allyson Hamacher lives in Phoenix, AZ with her husband, Jon, her dog, and multiple projects in varying states of doneness. She is starting a Masters of Science program at Arizona State University, and looks unsettlingly smug in her student ID picture. She and Jon strongly disagree about whether the word "filthy" means "dirty" or "extra dirty."

Monday, October 1, 2012

The End is Near

By Mayson Astle


It seems like just yesterday Jim kissed Pam at Casino night, or Michael hit Meredith with his car. But just yesterday is actually years ago, and we've all grown over time. The Office hasn't been just a TV show, it's shaped my adolescent life.

Each Thursday, week after week, year after year, I continued to tune in to the hit comedy. Some people lost interest when regional manager, Michael Scott left the office to marry the love of his life and old HR Rep, Holly Flax. Although, I enjoyed the show better with Michael managing the office, I can't deny laughing a little in this season's premiere when Dwight attempted to bike across power wires out of jealousy toward a new office member. 

After all these years of laughter, a few tears and the worlds biggest crush on Jim Halpert, I'm finishing strong. Consider me a devoted Office fan, with or without Michael.

Mayson Astle is at Utah Valley University studying English Education. She has wanted to be a teacher since she was 8 years old. She enjoys running, board games, reading and TV watching. Her TV favorites are Grey's Anatomy, The Office and Modern Family. Check her out atmaysonastle.blogspot.com